Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
