I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize