sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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