She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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