Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
