he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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