There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
