lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
