Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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