Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
