That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
