Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Everyone says I win the strip club
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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