My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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