If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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