I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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