I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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