Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have feelings that need drinking.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
