it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
