He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i don't like sucking hair
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
