:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
