is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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