I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I lost the right to judge tonight
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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