My first STD was from a foam party
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need moral support for this bender
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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