It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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