Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
one two three fourrrrnication!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
