If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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