you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
