he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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