Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
