Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
