I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize