i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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