He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
