Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
