Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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