just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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