she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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