I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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