Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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