Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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