turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
