I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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