You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
