I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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