i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
