WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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