Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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