I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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