i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
there is glitter all over my balls
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