I want to walk on stilts...naked
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
