I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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