singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize