if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize