So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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