omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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