i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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