Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
