It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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