Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
