the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize