Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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