I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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