Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
