Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
