ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We got so high we made milksteak
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
