So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
