By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
