your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
