I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
